Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda

Do you ever look to the next phase in life and think ….”when that time comes I’ll have it together…I’ll be more disciplined, diligent, free, tidy, savvy, stylish, friendlier…better?” Do you look to the future and see the end result forgetting the journey it takes to get there?
I have smacked into the fallacy of these thoughts once again. My thoughts went something like this…. I will be in ministry and be diligent in my studies and my work. I will not be tempted to surf facebook and pintrest and my every thought will be on the nations, my job and the kingdom. This makes a great prayer and aspiration but it does not resemble reality. Don’t misunderstand me my heart still beats for the nations and I still get some work done and spend some coveted time with our sweet Lord, but I also get distracted, mess up and at times prefer watching How I Met Your Mother to investing in the Word.

I have forgotten the journey and my pride wells up within me creating a conundrum between diligence, anxiety and failure. I want to be a jack of all trades, perfect in every aspect of my life and my ministry. I desire passion, movement and fruit not as a means of change or picture God’s glory, but as a tool to validate my life and my purpose. Selfish ambition and the approval of men begin to cloud the beauty and the mission and failure begins to diminish my perceived beauty.

1 Thessalonians 5:24-25 says “May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole body, spirit and soul be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. For the One who calls you is faithful and HE WILL DO IT.” Oh the God of peace, He will do it when I put aside my selfish ambition and rest in His sanctification. Change must start in prayer and with His power.

I’m not perfect….working at a missions agency does not give me worth or validate my existence and role in the kingdom…but Christ does.

My Prayer

The Lord has been gracious and faithful. I just returned from two weeks among my family in West Africa. The Lord showed his vibrancy and presence in an unforgettable way that has left its permanent mark on the team and the villages.

To read more about the trip check out my latest newsletter here!

Just before I left the capital city for the villages the Lord gave me a  prayer that resounded through the trip and echoed upon my return. I think I’ll just share it with you. I pray that these words remain on my heart and my lips…

1-2-12 On the Rooftop overlooking the City

“He will stand and shepherd His flock in the STRENGTH and MAJESTY  of the name of the Lord his God. And they will live securely, for then his GREATNESS will reach the ends of the Earth and he will be their peace.”  Micah 5:4-5

Lord you supersede all that we could ever do or say. Your words bring me to my knees in awe of your royalty and beautiful reign.You took the wretched world upon your back and your heart and then seeped peace throughout the Earth. As I sit here on the edge of the “ends of the Earth” I rest in your promise that your greatness will reach and your peace will swell out of the dry and brittle land.

Lord I beg of your power and mercy. I pray that you would flood our temple and be a beacon in the darkness that pierces the very souls of the beautiful West Africans. In light of all that you have done and accomplished for us all you require is for us to “act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with you.” (Micah 6:8) Yet I find myself here prostrate and begging you to help me live justly, love mercy and walk with you.

I pray that your truth would sound as drums of truth…Lord, we beckon your power here now!

The Lord was faithful in all that I asked. The movement, power and peace that now live in the small African villages are a beacon. There are still struggles and thousands without access to the Gospel, but God still reaches out further and further. I am realizing more day by day that this prayer is relevant on and off the field. I ask that if you are serious about the movement of the Gospel that you will join me in this prayer for the people of West Africa, for your neighbor and for yourself.  In all things may Christ be glorified!

Kelunka Training Village

And what more shall I say? I do not have time to tell about Gideon, Barak, Samson and Jephthah, about David and Samuel and the prophets, who through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised; who shut the mouths of lions, quenched the fury of the flames, and escaped the edge of the sword; whose weakness was turned to strength; and who became powerful in battle and routed foreign armies. These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised, since God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.

Hebrews 11:32-34 and 39-40

The pages of the Word unfold countless tales of faith that enabled mere men to conquer kingdoms and return the nations’ to the heart to God. The author of Hebrews recounts the mighty acts of the weak believers who became our benchmarks for spiritual giants. With each account the author credits the true beauty and mighty force…faith. This sweet mercy of God that allows us to forge ahead and render mountains for His glory has been the trait that ushered in His name through the ages. Throughout scripture God gives these weak workers bold words that build a calling. Yet, in order to hear the call they had to first be silent and listen.

Listen…we hear a multitude of sounds in each millisecond, but do we really listen? Are we able to silence the madness and the ruckus to understand the call? Our Father cries out for your heart, the nations moan in the reality of their captivity and the church whimpers with a deep need for community and movement…do you hear it?

During the last month two teams come to Kelunka Training Village and tune their ears to the heart cry of Earth and Heaven.

Since I joined staff here at School to the Nations my first order of business has been repackaging and designing our village training program. The Lord laid listening on my heart and through my travels I have seen the power of listening in action. The planning was fun but I was so blessed to be able to pass on the words the Lord had entrusted me with through the trainings this weekend

 I drug the teams through intense discipleship and extreme challenges to prepare for the battle they will face as they venture to the lost and hurting world. The teams have prayed, practiced, explored, laughed, rested and listened in faith so that the King’s call may move us in mighty ways among the nations.

The biblical examples of small and grand faith in Hebrews 11 give hope and direction to us today. At School to the Nations we get the privilege of training today’s Gideons, Davids and Isaiahs. Men and women who grasp the strands of faith and humbly say, “Here am I. Send me.” (Isaiah 6:8) I hear the Lord echoing His joy over today’s servants willing to go. I hear Him whispering the promises of the immeasurable goodness He has prepared ahead for those who move in faith.

Please be in prayer for the Convoy of Hope team leaving for Haiti this week.

Please be in prayer for the School to the Nations team headed to Mali, West Africa this winter.

Chasing Goats

Well I’m back! 8 months, 13 countries, and 4 continents later I am still alive. Countless days of trials, loneliness, wild encounters and beautiful people have led me back here…right here to southwest Missouri. While I find myself in the same town, surrounded by similar people I realize it is not the same…I am not the same! The Lord has changed me and guided me to a place in full time ministry. This blog will now be a place where to share all the adventure, struggle and lessons ministry and life brings.

Lesson/Adventure 1

Day 1 I showed up to my phenomenal job at School to the Nations  expecting an exciting day where I began my job and dug into some good cross cultural ministry. As I rounded the corner I saw three goats from our training village staked up. My “exuberant driving” frightened the goats and sent them tearing across the field. Day 1 in ministry…first task…catch the goats. My lovely coworker Tessa and I chased the silly animals all around the camp and finally tied them back up. I learned my first essential lesson in ministry…do what needs to be done. My first day and every day since then has had the joy of expected assignments. Whether chasing goats or designing a challenging lesson on tribal living my job never ceases to surprise and exceed my plans. I LOVE MY JOB and I cannot wait to share more with you.But tonight it is late and for now I will leave you with the joyous image of two young women on a new adventure, in a new career chasing scrawny balking goats through a 29 acre camp!

 

Surviving the Bush Commando

Remember the days of summer as a child. The time when you only needed one outfit because you were just going to keep getting it dirty. The time when all you had time for was playing outside with your friends. Do we even remember the time when a box could entertain us for hours and we thought a new toothbrush was a great gift? Simplicity a concept the Lord brought me back to half way around the world.

With packing complete and goodbyes waved I boarded the plane for the simple life. After 36 hours of traveling I breathed in the beautifully pungent smell of Africa, a smell I have come to love. Our team sat and watched the luggage belt go round and round for nearly an hour until we concluded that 11 of our bags were still sitting in Paris. We listed all the things in the bags that we really needed (like  solar panels and underwear!) and we prayed for the Lord to provide.

However tangled up in the American life we had no understanding of what Jehovah Jireh, my provider, really meant. A day later I headed to the small village of Bangassi with only the things I had carried on. The Lord had provided. Down to the last packet of oatmeal the Lord had divinely orchestrated our every need.

Surviving the bush commando comes down to one basic word: simplicity. The Lord is crying out live simply, simply speak, rest in the simplicity of your call amidst the complexity of your world. I thought that in my 50 pairs of shoes and cabinets full of kitchen supplies that I had acquired my basic needs but away from the media floods and the consumerism there is a place of peace, of satisfaction; a place where I finally understood the Lord’s provision. For when I had little I could call mine Jehovah Jireh shown clear! As I sit in the Finland airport on my way to India with only the things on my back I have no fear and no desire for the things I a do not have; I go with an eternal promise what more could I need?

Backroads

Have you ever been beckoned by a backroad? You know the ones, the ones lined with trees on both side, trees that are arched at just the right angle as to make a clear path yet still leave mystery to what lies beyond. The calling to go down the winding road always happens at the oddest time. Like today for example, I was on my way back home and at a pit stop for gas. (a gas station that has frog leg fridays!) My car had been moving for 8 hours already and my back ached and the sky threatened rain. While making my right turn out of the station, I looked away from the interstate and I saw it. That road, the one I know all to well. The path that looks so familiar yet new. The pavement that longingly waits to be used even though the cracks and tarnished paint let you know it has been used far too much. The road that you know holds so many treasures yet is blocked by uncertainty and risk. Yeah I saw that road today and it begged me to come and see what was on the other side of the trees.

Alas I thought of my back and the large amount of money I had already spent on gas. I thought of the risk of wrecking on an uncharted path and possibility of getting lost. I thought of my comfortable bed and my sleepy roomate in the passenger seat. I pondered every reason not to drive that rustic, enchanted and enticing backroad as I looked both ways before pulling out of the gas station.

And then I heard the words of my sweet and wise friend Katie… “Here is the great thing… When the Lord calls me to go circumstance does not define whether or not I can” The excuses fade to the challenge and the fear subsides to the mighty power of the Provider, the lamp to the path. So I looked once more down that pleading winding road from my rear view mirror as I merged on the interstate.

(I wish I had taken the road…always take the alluring road)

Love ‘em Fiercely but Hold ‘em Loosely…

What do people mean when they say they want to live to 120? From my observations old age doesn’t look that appealing. Maybe what we are really trying to say is we want to LIVE life. We want to have the time to travel a bit, love a lot, be loved even more, pass on some genes, climb a tall mountain, ride a raging river,  calm a troubled child and most of all leave a legacy. But then if we are counting on 43,800 days of life we may never get started before it is too late.

Africans live life. In the middle of disease, dirt and death I see real living. Yes they strive and still have little, but they love and they embrace community with all that is in their being. To my Malian family all things find significance in human interaction. They have taught me what living looks like… it’s giving from your nothingness, it’s bringing out the drums and dancing when your friend arrives,  it’s holding hands on a hot day, and it is investing when you know you have to say goodbye. Oh how they love… they love so feircely but they hold you so loosely because they experience the reality of this world. So now I say love people so fiercely it hurts and hold them gentle enough so not to restrict their wings.

So here is to living life…even if just for another day. Here is to waking up passionate for the Lord and oozing His love out of all our broken places.

Long Time Coming

Bewildered is to be amused, baffled, surprised, captivated, perplexed, befuddled or enchanted
This is me, a little confused but always captivated by glimpses of beauty. Enchanted by fireflies, vintage lamps, and African dirt, amused by getting caught in the rain and the tickle of grass between my toes in a life perfected by a creative Author. I get all wrong and occasionally right but I find it’s in the bewilderment that I learn the difference…

So I have wanted to start this blog for forever. I want this to be a place to share little snippits of what our awesome God speaks to my heart. I am not overly wise or wonderfully articulate but I love to share the little sparks of knowledge that the sweet Lord whispers. I hope that through my ponderings and wonderment of this complex life you may find snapshots of yourself and glimpses of our loving God. So welcome to my blog I hope you find it a cool splash of water in this steamy summer.

Hello world!

Welcome to WordPress.com. This is your first post. Edit or delete it and start blogging!