Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda

Do you ever look to the next phase in life and think ….”when that time comes I’ll have it together…I’ll be more disciplined, diligent, free, tidy, savvy, stylish, friendlier…better?” Do you look to the future and see the end result forgetting the journey it takes to get there?
I have smacked into the fallacy of these thoughts once again. My thoughts went something like this…. I will be in ministry and be diligent in my studies and my work. I will not be tempted to surf facebook and pintrest and my every thought will be on the nations, my job and the kingdom. This makes a great prayer and aspiration but it does not resemble reality. Don’t misunderstand me my heart still beats for the nations and I still get some work done and spend some coveted time with our sweet Lord, but I also get distracted, mess up and at times prefer watching How I Met Your Mother to investing in the Word.

I have forgotten the journey and my pride wells up within me creating a conundrum between diligence, anxiety and failure. I want to be a jack of all trades, perfect in every aspect of my life and my ministry. I desire passion, movement and fruit not as a means of change or picture God’s glory, but as a tool to validate my life and my purpose. Selfish ambition and the approval of men begin to cloud the beauty and the mission and failure begins to diminish my perceived beauty.

1 Thessalonians 5:24-25 says “May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole body, spirit and soul be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. For the One who calls you is faithful and HE WILL DO IT.” Oh the God of peace, He will do it when I put aside my selfish ambition and rest in His sanctification. Change must start in prayer and with His power.

I’m not perfect….working at a missions agency does not give me worth or validate my existence and role in the kingdom…but Christ does.


My Prayer

The Lord has been gracious and faithful. I just returned from two weeks among my family in West Africa. The Lord showed his vibrancy and presence in an unforgettable way that has left its permanent mark on the team and the villages.

To read more about the trip check out my latest newsletter here!

Just before I left the capital city for the villages the Lord gave me a  prayer that resounded through the trip and echoed upon my return. I think I’ll just share it with you. I pray that these words remain on my heart and my lips…

1-2-12 On the Rooftop overlooking the City

“He will stand and shepherd His flock in the STRENGTH and MAJESTY  of the name of the Lord his God. And they will live securely, for then his GREATNESS will reach the ends of the Earth and he will be their peace.”  Micah 5:4-5

Lord you supersede all that we could ever do or say. Your words bring me to my knees in awe of your royalty and beautiful reign.You took the wretched world upon your back and your heart and then seeped peace throughout the Earth. As I sit here on the edge of the “ends of the Earth” I rest in your promise that your greatness will reach and your peace will swell out of the dry and brittle land.

Lord I beg of your power and mercy. I pray that you would flood our temple and be a beacon in the darkness that pierces the very souls of the beautiful West Africans. In light of all that you have done and accomplished for us all you require is for us to “act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with you.” (Micah 6:8) Yet I find myself here prostrate and begging you to help me live justly, love mercy and walk with you.

I pray that your truth would sound as drums of truth…Lord, we beckon your power here now!

The Lord was faithful in all that I asked. The movement, power and peace that now live in the small African villages are a beacon. There are still struggles and thousands without access to the Gospel, but God still reaches out further and further. I am realizing more day by day that this prayer is relevant on and off the field. I ask that if you are serious about the movement of the Gospel that you will join me in this prayer for the people of West Africa, for your neighbor and for yourself.  In all things may Christ be glorified!